Homemade Wipes

After weeks, well really months, I've finished more wipes for Isla as part of our switching full time to cloth diapers. I'm washing diapers, it makes sense to wash wipes too. SO easy.

It's really easy to make them, it's just sitting down with all the fabric and sewing them. For wipe solution I'm just going to use water and a little bit of baby wash in a spray bottle but to start since my spray bottles are all used up I'm just going to put them in an old container with a lid.

I cut the fabric, flannel and cotton prints, matched ends up and pinned them together. Then sewed them with the wrong side of the cotton prints out with a simple stitch leaving about an inch unsewn to turn them right side out. After I did that, I sewed a zig zag stitched around all the edges and trimmed any left over thread.

Isla loves her wipes so far! She thought they were a lot of fun to play with on the floor! :)

Just a little catch me up

Being a home owner is keeping me busy but I love it. Being a mom to an 8 month old and 4 dogs is not only keeping me busy but keeping me off the computer more and more. Right now Isla is napping, the new puppies Susie and Sunny are in their kennels with their cones of shame from their spay surgery, napping. Penny is at my feet, and Daisy is under the quilt next to me.

Isla is doing a few new things: Standing unassisted for up to 10 seconds (as of today) she crawled over to the stairs, let go, and was up for 10 seconds before I said "Yay!!" and clapped, so she then dropped and clapped back. Clapping is also new, and not a fluke! She started that last week, and we figured out it was for real this weekend. She still loves climbing our stairs and we've gotten all the way to the second floor quite a few times now. She also likes to say "dada" and is finding more of her m's and n's lately and is "mnamanan-ing." Of course I'm a proud mama and I think it's the coolest thing ever.

We're currently working on putting up the rest of our ceiling fans, and hanging curtains and other goodies in our house. Also doing some furniture shopping for things like a desk, entertainment center, bedroom furniture, and a kitchen table, chairs, and benches within the next year or so. We are enjoying (and trying to be patient) on all the updates and things we want to do that will make our house a little more practical and comfortable.

This week I had an endocrinologist appointment, and they're running further tests. Apparently my thyroid is doing strange things and it's making me tired, hot all the time, gain weight, hormonal, and just a flat out crazy person some days. haha I won't find out anything til next week but in the meantime I'm not on any meds or diet changes yet. It's kind of like an epiphany, knowing that there's a reason that I've been feeling so bad and tired all the time. I've been wondering when this started and if it's the reason I've had so many weight issues the past few years. It's not just a laziness cycle or new mom stuff. In turn that makes me scared, and frustrated that I do have something going on and that we have to take care of it. It's never fun to be unhealthy.

I think that's all for now as I have a crying baby in the other room!

New house!

It's been about a month since I've posted last. We put an offer on a home around the first part of June, and then moved last month. Still unpacking around here and getting used to being homeowners.

Isla is 7 months old now. She's crawling around a ton, never still for long, and standing up on whatever she can get her hands on and has even learned how to sit down gently from standing. She likes sweet potatoes and squash, and her puppies. She's in a sleep regression right now, and started waking up at 5 then at 4, and now she's waking in the middle of the night again, and we're sleeeeepppppy. YAWN!!!

I've been thinking about how we live and what we put into and onto our bodies a lot lately. We've been making some changes like eating less salt, sugar, and not drinking cokes much at all. We've had a few sonic drinks and icees the last month, but we've cut out coke for the most part. I'm using more coconut oil in our cooking, and greek yogurts and sour cream when I can and cutting out things like condensed soups and whole milk.

I think eventually it'd be neat to start shopping locally and maybe even buy some things like raw milk, cheeses, and make our own bread, sauces, and jams. It's a lot of work, but we are so blessed with a good sized pantry that maybe soon I can start budgeting for things and figuring them out. It's a learning process and one I don't want to go into cold turkey.

I figure within the next few months we'll start using up what we've bought the last year in some products and will go healthier and more natural routes for those things afterwards. I don't want to waste, but at the same time I want to start back trying to make our own body washes, soaps, and lotions again. That was fun and something that was short lived due to morning sickness with Isla, and not being able to handle all the scents! However, I'm excited to start it back up again soon!

New things!!

Isla is 6 months old! She has been doing more, a lot more crawling this week. Somehow she went from scooting to crawling before I knew it and has been getting into whatever she can find. The dog's rawhides, tennis balls, 12 packs of cokes, and she can find me when I go into the kitchen now. She's getting "fast" too.

She has also been sitting up from laying on her tummy or crawling around. I was excited that I got a picture yesterday morning! However, I didn't see it happen this time, last week I saw it but of course I want to see it again!! She picked the moment I started eating breakfast. She was on her tummy, then I looked down and she was sitting up looking at me.  Sometimes she likes to hang out down by my feet holding onto the bar of the coffee table and my leg, and sitting up looking at me. It's pretty sweet. I love it. She's so amazing. Yes, this first time mom is amazed and enthralled by the new things her baby is learning!! It's so cool to me.

She likes carrots more than green beans and she didn't like avocado so it's cool to find what she likes! I can barely get the spoon to the bowl before she wants more. Monday was her first day eating carrots. I do a puree a week, starting on Mondays; one puree feeding in the morning then one in the evening.  She can eat 3 cubes worth of food! She's growing so much!

Things you learn as a mother (and as a human being)

Nothing usually goes as planned. I'm constantly learning that as a mommy. It seems like there's something new every day that shows me that. I know the biggest chunk of "learning" that comes to my mind is Isla's birth and breastfeeding. That all went the complete opposite of how I envisioned it would. Not only was I induced, I had an epidural, and was about a week late. I wanted to go into labor on my own, and try to go unmedicated. Just wasn't how it happened though!

I still remember the week I decided to move on from breastfeeding. After about a month or so of seeing lactation consultants every few days we moved on to formula. It's still hard to talk about but maybe someone will see this and it'll help them. I might even share it on facebook. I think it's important that anyone going through something like this knows they aren't alone.

During pregnancy I had planned to breastfeed for at least a year whether it was nursing or pumping. We didn't have any big issues til after we got home. She was simply a lazy nurser then would get mad that she was still hungry, then that lazy nursing told my body to stop producing as much. Pretty soon I was seeing a 2 lactation consultants because the service at our hospital had 2 different women on duty who rarely had the same game plan for us!

I was feeding Isla every 3 hours. I'd nurse, then give her a small bottle of formula, and pump around the clock. I cried the first time I gave Isla a bottle. I ate oatmeal, drank Gatorade, and took supplements and pumped. It maybe helped some with my milk supply. I researched constantly and read about how every woman makes enough milk, and that if they worked hard enough they'll produce enough. I think I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep every day. Toby would come home and take Isla while I napped so I could sleep. I'd put Isla in her swing while I pumped and I'd feel like all I wanted to do was hold her. 

I felt like a horrible mother. I was crying constantly and so angry with myself. I had always thought something like breastfeeding would be natural and easy, after all it's a mothering instinct to nurse your baby right? She started gaining on the formula/milk combo, and it seemed like I was finally making more so I nursed more. The LC would weigh her before and after she nursed and she was getting a pretty good amount so we started cutting back. I was so excited, til we went back to weigh in on a Friday and she hadn't gained, but lost 2 oz. Bring on more formula and pumping. I felt even worse after that, like a failure. 


I started taking Reglan, a prescription medicine to help me make more milk, even though I wasn't really comfortable with it I wanted to try everything I could. I stopped taking it after a few days because it made me incredibly tired and even more depressed. At some point the LC and I tested my pump and found out that it wasn't functioning right and that was adding or maybe even causing the problems. We replaced parts and she rented me a hospital grade pump for free to try to catch up. 


I was driving to or from the LC one morning when Mandisa's Waiting for Tomorrow came on the radio and it just hit me so hard. I hated how much time and effort I was putting into breastfeeding and even more that it wasn't working out. I felt like I wasn't getting enough time to just enjoy Isla and being a mother. I was just done, it was time to move on, and I had tried my best. I was tired, and I felt like I was missing out on precious time with Isla. 


Toby actually woke up with me a few nights to feed Isla while I pumped and he got a little bit of the experience and recognized that I had to be exhausted and was putting a lot much effort into it. I had so much support from him. He was encouraging and would try to get me to laugh everyday. He'd hug me while I cried. When I told him I was ready to move on he was extremely supportive, and he even mentioned how much Isla loved (and still loves) her bottles. 


I've had a lot of judgement from women, usually women who aren't even mothers yet, that I give Isla formula, but they have no idea what we went though because they haven't been through it and can't understand. Some have even blamed it on me having an induction and the epidural but really what it came down to was it just happened. We try to figure things out too much sometimes. Things happen and sometimes what we want doesn't work out, and that's ok. I learned from this experience. 


Oh that first day of moving on, I remember how wonderful it felt to just enjoy my baby girl!! That first week it was amazing to cuddle more, to count little fingers and toes more, to sing more, and to just love her more. I was a much better, happier mommy just because I could hold her more. I was so excited, I could start doing more with her. I could start making her things (I love to make her stuff!) but most of all just holding her meant the world to me. I could just sit and hold her as much as I wanted! 


Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Cleaning and Isla this week

Why do I hate cleaning so much but love having a clean home? I'm so happy with myself that I have a clean love seat going on I think 2 days now. Since Toby is home for a few days, I'm going to try to be a cleaning and organizing lady this week. Along with that I'm continuing my cutting back on internet. Maybe with the new habits things will finally be cleaner all the time!

Isla has been a busy body the past week and is getting better at scooting around and has even sat up on her own once. She hasn't done it since so maybe it was a fluke and it's the most blurry (blurriest?) picture but I was so proud of her! Since she's getting more mobile it's more important to make sure she isn't getting into things or putting things in her mouth that can hurt her so here's the clean house thing again. I've started baby proofing a few things in our living room since that's the biggest area that has outlets and cords she can get to while on the floor.

It makes me somewhat sad how my teeny baby girl isn't teeny anymore. She's getting bigger, and longer, and it seems like everyday she's doing something new or better. She's gone from sleeping in her pack and play in our room to her crib again the past week. She was in her crib before but after about a week of waking up at least 10 times at night we moved her in with us. She just wasn't ready to be away from mama! ;) Now she's down to maybe 4 times a night of "waking" when she can't find her paci.

Isla has also started teething more, or rather it's more noticeable. Her gums have started really bothering her, and in the afternoons she has a pretty bad fussy time. It's hot, and we think that makes her grouchy too. With it being so hot I try to just keep her in a diaper and maybe a t-shirt or onesie, but usually she's just hanging out in her diaper! She's also started liking her teething toys more and more, even the one that goes in the fridge!! Not sure how much I like them though, cause I'm nervous about the stuff that's inside them.

This week Isla has been eating green beans and loves them!! We've been doing purees slowly, and letting her take her time. She's pretty much told me when she's ready for something, and we did maybe a week of cereal since I just really don't see the point of cereal aside from it showing them how to eat from a spoon. It's not as good for her as veggies and fruits so we've moved on from plain cereal for the most part.

Next week Isla will be 6 months!!!

Time is so precious

Lately I've seen so many tragedies with babies and small children. Maybe it's because I'm more aware of them now with Isla, and that I'm at an age now where more friends and friends of friends are having babies or have younger children. It's just so hard to hear about these things as a mother. I've shed some tears because it just makes my heart ache for them. It makes me want to make sure that I spend more time with Isla, rather than on facebook, reading things on the internet, pinterest, or even on here writing a blog.

I just feel that time is so precious. Not to mention that I've started just feeling overwhelmed I guess with all the different "technological" things, and rather what I can be doing with my time. Some mornings I eat breakfast while I check my stuff even rather than eating and then getting stuff done so I can enjoy my day more later.

 It may sound strange to some, but I know I haven't been focusing on what's important in life as much as I could be because I want to pick up my phone and look around on facebook or pinterest. I know I haven't had much quiet time and it's been hard to even watch an episode of something I enjoy because I get so easily distracted. I felt so alone in all this, like I was the only one with this problem, til I started looking at a blog I used to read everyday again this morning. It was like someone just knew I needed to read that. :)

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/category/current_series/

So in order to make sure I'm living my life fully, and how I need to be to be a happier, less tired mama I'm cutting back. Making sure I don't leave my facebook up during the day so I can just look at it when I want is a big thing. Also not letting myself just sit with Isla while I do stuff on the computer is a big thing I need to work on too. The apartment isn't as clean as I want it to be because I let myself go play on pinterest rather than dusting or re organizing stuff that needs to be put up. When we move into a house I don't want to get overwhelmed even more and exhausted trying to keep up.

I'm hoping if I post about this I'll be more accountable. It's out in the internets, out in the open, and people can see it. It's not going to be easy because it's such a habit to check things and get sucked in but I'm already doing a lot better than I was last week. :)

4 years

A lot can happen in 4 years. One can get a college degree, graduate high school, a president serves a full term in 4 years. A child can learn how to crawl, walk, talk, read, sing, dance, and tie their shoes. Today Toby and I have been married for 4 years!! It's kind of weird. 4 years just seems like a long time to me in some ways. I'm so grateful I have such a good man to share my life with and to help me raise Isla. 


I think about this time we were getting ready to go to our reception, now 4 years later I'm spending time with our baby girl and in a few hours will be getting ready to go to dinner the 3 of us. :) 


Some fun things I remember about that day:


Getting to the church and seeing Toby outside!! We had to call to tell him to go inside since we wanted to follow the tradition that he didn't get to see me til the ceremony! I had to duck! 


Putting on my wedding dress and feeling beautiful. 


Spending time with family and friends as we got ready. All the love and effort people put into that day was and still is priceless. 


My surprise song!! Toby surprised me during the ceremony by singing our song, "Love of My Life" by Michael W. Smith. 


Kissing my husband for the first time!


Dancing our first dance to Toby's back up track rather than the real song. Didn't really care, was in bridal bliss! 


It rained on our wedding day. We like rain, so we didn't mind one bit. 


Did I mention kissing my husband?


Going on our honeymoon.....

A day in the life of this stay at home mom....

Staying at home isn't always easy. Don't get me wrong, not only do I love it and it can be easy at times, but some days it really is rough. Being a mom has got to be one of the hardest callings out there. It's not the best of times to have a constipated, fussy baby who just wants to be held or a fussy, teething baby who again just wants to be held. Lately, it's a baby who wants to scratch while she's fussy and being held. I love my little girl and I know staying at home is what's important to me so I just suck it up and do it. I've said before I don't think of her as a burden, because I don't want to get in to that kind of mindset. It's discouraging to me. 


I have a lot of support though and that makes my life easier. I have people I can talk to, and above all I can always pray.  I cherish the time I get with Isla but it is always appreciated when Toby has daddy time with Isla and will let me take a nap, go shopping, or work out. As a new mom, you learn you have little time to yourself, really that is all to you so take your time at the store. It's ok. Some nights I want to cry because Toby will ask me if I want to go do something like go to Hobby Lobby and just look around. Bless that man, he's so good to me.


Today has been a pretty good day so far. I woke up, fed Isla, and then we went and snuggled with/woke up Toby for work. Isla took her morning nap while I started some laundry, cleaned, and rested for a little while then we got up and played for a bit before she was ready to eat. I got in some sewing and some more cleaning. Now Isla is back down for another little cat nap and I'm writing this and making apple cake. Need to use up some apples and thought that sounded like something yummy and useful. Also I can probably get it done during nap time if I hurry this up a bit. 


She's been a little fussy, well fussy, from her tummy hurting her. We've been doing cereal twice a day the past couple days to get her used to the sensation of eating from a spoon and it's made her constipated. Also another fun thing when you become a mom is poop. Poop is sometimes your world. As a new mom a few months ago there was usually never enough poop. Our little world would revolve around it, was she pooping enough, why was it like that, and should we be concerned? Still so much to do with poop. ;)


I have to say my favorite though is the newness of every day. Not only the snuggles and cuddles but the new noises and learning. Isla has started sucking in her bottom lip like she's a little old woman with no teeth and smacks it. She's also started figuring out how to move around a little more. She scoots around better and better each day. Soon, well maybe not really all that soon, I don't know if I can take it being soon. She will be crawling. She's getting so strong. It's so amazing to remember the days when I just held her in my arms, and now she wants to move so much. 

Cloth diapering adventures

Before Isla was born, really even before I got pregnant I knew I wanted to cloth diaper. I don't even remember how I found them but I discovered the world of adorable prints, numerous styles, textures, and softness galore. Not to mention the economical greenness of them. Plus, helloooo cuteness and fluffy butt! We were met with a lot of criticism, negativity, and doubt from others so we decided we'd wait and see how we felt later and what I could take on while taking care of a newborn. After about a month or so home and using disposables, we decided to go for it!!! You know what, I love it, and Toby thinks they're pretty cute too, but there isn't much that goes on Isla that he doesn't think is adorable! :)

I really like to use cloth. It just feels softer to me and I like that it doesn't have that jelly stuff or that if I have the wrong size I have to go to the store to get more. I can adjust the size of the cloth diapers with snaps. We use pocket diapers because we with what we thought would be the easiest and last the longest, and they're also what we have materials for at this time. Pockets are a shell with a pocket on the inside that one stuffs an insert or inserts inside to absorb. When it's just tinkle it goes into our wet bag (a bag that keeps them from mildewing til wash) but when there's poop I wash the poop off or shake it into the toilet. The inserts are what soak up any bodily fluids and the diaper shell is made of a repelling material, PUL, so that any fluids stay inside the diaper and don't leak out. 

Pocket where I stuff the inserts.

Diaper shell - Snaps adjust size! 

We didn't have many problems to start out, just needed more diapers. We used spoises at night because I didn't know if she'd leak through to her bed. A few nights she slept in cloth and it went ok to be honest. However; after about a month or so we were getting leaks in legs during the day and then in the tushy part of the diaper. I thought maybe I didn't seal the PUL enough in the dryer, so after washing I'd dry them but that wasn't solving the leak problems. Apparently Isla is a heavy wetter! haha 


I'm blessed enough to have support and friends that cloth diaper too, and after talking to them and doing some research it was clear. I needed more inserts to stuff in her diapers because she just needs extra padding. Just so happened I was referred to a great deal on some and hopefully they'll be here soon. In the meantime I double stuff Isla's diapers during the day and we just use them when we can, then wash them/use disposables part time and still at night. Still not ready to take that leap. 


Once we get new inserts and can have more diapers available and a better stretch of time between washes I'll start cloth diapering at night too. I'm so ready for those inserts! We just have quite awhile to wait on them but that's alright too. I'm exited about them because one of my sweet friends sent us some diaper covers and I can use those new inserts for those cute diapers so that's more diapers that way too! 


I'm still working on a wash routine but like I said before after she wears the diaper it goes into the wet bag, then I wash several diapers at a time. Warm rinse usually with tea tree oil, warm wash with a little All Free and Clear, and last a cold rinse with lavender or whatever oil smells good that day cause I have a few of those! :) Hang to dry.

Isla's wet bag

Something I've learned in all this is to not get discouraged when something goes wrong or not as planned. It has also been cool to learn about the different styles and materials that go into diapering.  I haven't regretted my decision once. I really haven't. Even when it was frustrating I just stepped back for a bit while we tried testing a few different ideas. I've also not put pressure on myself to use only cloth. I'm still ok with using spoises when we go out, wash, travel, etc. I just love the cloth much, much more! <3 


I think my favorites are the blue, purple and Hello Kitty! Soon I'll have 2 velrco diapers to add to my stash of snaps. 

Baby Dedication

This weekend was Isla's first trip to Westlake, LA, Toby's first Father's Day, and Isla's Baby Dedication! We had a busy, but very enjoyable weekend! Toby got to play laser tag again, and I got to enjoy a relaxing and fun boat ride! :) Isla was a hit, and definitely a crowd pleaser. Always a pleasure to watch her smile and laugh at others, to spread some sunshine!

Baby dedication was wonderful, so much wisdom and encouragement for us as parents. Isla got sleepy during service and actually fell asleep on Toby's lap sitting up in his arms. He loved every minute of it. He moved over into a chair and she curled up in his arm against his side and went back to sleep. It looked like a pose a professional photographer would dream of, and I'm kicking myself I didn't get an amateur mommy shot of it but we do have a bit of it on video! Some of the wisdom we were given is to enjoy Isla, to delight in her and to cherish her rather than to see her as a chore or burden. I've been focusing a lot on that lately and it was great to see that hit home. Perfect fit.

It was also encouraging to hear other's share their wisdom and prayers for us. It's so nice to have support. So a BIG THANK YOU to all our family who participated in her dedication. It was priceless and so appreciated! 


Isla also wore one of the dresses I made for her with one of her Kim's Kreation bows that Kim made her last month! She was adorable! :)

Some more good news. Toby got a promotion at work!!! We're so happy for him! Lots of change going on for this family now and in the upcoming months! We are blessed!

5 months

Yesterday, Isla turned 5 months old! I can't believe how fast she's growing up. It's always fun to see what she's learning to do. How she's changed from this teeny little baby girl who had to be held, to a baby who likes to chill on the floor, sit up, and who likes to stand on our laps. She's a little busy body most of the time now.

I've been making her a felt book the past week and am also working on some pillowcase dresses. Who knows, maybe I'll get good enough to sell some?! Either way, it's fun to make them and I like to do it. I do ok, at making bows but I'd rather sew something with fabric than create with ribbon. Every month I take her picture in a tutu that I made for her. I wonder how many more "photo shoots" it'll fit her as she keeps growing.

Yesterday we took month pictures like we always do, and it was interesting to think back about the different things she's done even just during pictures. From laying still to waving arms, to sucking on her tutu and screeching at me! Such a fun little girl and so happy!

From yesterday:

A few photos from the past few months.....

Babies are a blessing

My baby is a blessing. We prayed for her. We prayed that someday when it was in God's time we'd be blessed with a baby. We were answered with Isla, who is the perfect baby for us. She has taught me so many things already about patience, happiness, attitude, and gratefulness already.

It's so easy to get caught up in the what seems a societal norm of babies cry all the time and they're a burden. I see so many others do it. I know at 4:30 am when Isla fusses because she's lost her paci, and wants her bottom patted for the 8th time that night I even get a little annoyed out of having my sleep disturbed. It's so easy to whine or complain about it, but really I'm blessed. I've been shown several times the past few months that my daughter is a blessing, even when she needs me and is clingy needy she is not a burden.

You know why? It's because I do not look at her like she's a burden. 

I look at her with different eyes, eyes that know that time is so precious. Eyes that know that she is here because the Lord decided to pick us as her parents. She's not just my baby. She's the Lord's baby, first and foremost. At the end of the day, I want to know that I did my best by her. That I did my best to be a Godly example of a selfless mom as much as I can humanly be to her.

Everything I do is dependent on her, and what I do is for her and for our family. If I don't get something done, she's affected. What I say and how I act influence her, even at almost 5 months. One of the things I make sure we do with her every day is tell her we love her, and that she is precious and a blessing to us. It's so important, it's so essential that she knows that she's a blessing. Even when she's crying, or when it's 9:00 and all I want to do is go wash bottles and watch tv, it's so important that she knows that she's more important than that.

People comment on how happy Isla is when they see her or pictures of her smiling, and I like to think it's because she knows she is loved and cherished. We delight in her. We purpose to have the attitude that she is a blessing, and because of our attitudes and our hearts, we don't see her as anything but a blessing.

Passive Thinking

I've been thinking a lot about passive thinking lately and what it can do to a family if it's entertained and allowed. 

One night I was feeling particularly passive, almost like I couldn't do anything about a situation because it just feels like no one stands with me anymore. No one believes like I do, then somehow Toby and I ended up talking about it all, and guess what; he has the same belief I do. Not only does he think the same way but he was encouraging and so steadfast in his thoughts.

We have a whole person to think about and how we and our thoughts and beliefs affect her. I don't want to be a passive parent. I want to look back and know that I did everything possible to not only tell my little girl but show her the kind of person I am, and the kind of woman we want her to become someday.

It's so easy to get discouraged, when so many others have done it before but you know what it was their choice, and mine is to stand strong. The more I pray and read scripture about it the stronger I feel and know the truth of what passivity can do to not only myself but to those around me. If I have a good attitude about something it's likely to cheer others and in turn possibly spread. 

One of my newest goals is just to be happy. Be an encouragement to others, and show them by my words and actions that I'm not going to let something get me down. I have such a great encourager here at home in Toby, and it's nice to have support. I want to build others up rather than tear them down and I want to show Isla how to do that. I want to show her that it's ok to stand firm in your beliefs when no one else around does, and that it's ok to build someone up and have a positive outlook on life when others around her are might be negative. 

I also want her to know that prayer works, it really does, we have seen a healing in her reflux the past several weeks. It's amazing. Our God is so very good! 

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. Revelations 3:16

Control

I'm continuing to learn that I have no control over anything. Nothing. 0. Zip. It's rough.

About a week ago Isla fell and hit her head on our coffee table with me right there and I just wasn't fast enough to catch her. I was home with her so I called our after hours nurse line. After talking with a nurse got Isla ready to go to the ER. After about 3 hours of fear, nausea, a cat scan, a good husband who tried to get me to laugh, and a laid back ER doctor with a sense of humor but a pretty happy and smiling baby most of the time, we went home.

I sat there praying and holding her. Isla cooed and smiled so much that I know it had to be Him telling me she was ok. Not to mention she tooted in front of the ER doctor!!

We all slept so well that night. Isla didn't wake up once, and she slept til 6. That in itself was a gift.

It really is a struggle to learn all I can do is pray and give up control. I can say I really am learning it. It just isn't easy.

He alone is my rock, and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Psalm 62:6

Isla's Reflux

Isla has Acid Reflux and that in itself has been a crazy thing to deal with for me. When it started getting weird I called her pediatrician's office and they said it sounded alright and that babies spit up. Deep down I knew something was off, but within those 2 weeks or so everyone I talked too pretty much said she was fine. I guess now that I look back maybe had I been more vivid about what all she was doing I could have gotten through to them how bad it was at that point. I had done my own research and it sounded like Acid Reflux.

 The pediatrician's office said her spit up sounded normal even if it did stink and started to turn bright yellow. They said as long as it wasn't shooting across the room we were fine. I had several friends disagree and without them I would have felt incredibly alone in it all. My friends gave the suggestions to burp her after every ounce, hold her upright for 30 minutes, and make sure she slept upright too. I was still worried at this point so I called the RN at the pediatrician's office. It took two days for a call back just to tell me to keep doing what I was doing with her. I had to call back to push for an answer because our RN, Melissa, was out for a few days and she does an excellent job calling back and answering questions and concerns.

We started to put her in her pack n play one night and within 40 minutes of being in it and sleeping she woke up choking. I slept on the couch that night with her in her swing because that seemed to help. I felt so sick to my stomach. I kept telling Toby over and over, "this isn't normal." She was hurting I could just tell. I didn't know how to describe it but I just knew she was hurting during eating, after eating, and in her sleep. The next morning I was changing her diaper and she spit up some and started coughing. I got more frustrated so I started praying over whether or not I should call the pediatrician's office again. I decided to wait because I felt like I was a crazy, worried mom and didn't know what I was talking about. Everyone was saying she's fine, it was just spit up, and babies spit up a lot sometimes. Within 2 hours she choked in her swing, turned red, had spit up run out of her mouth and nose, and cried inconsolably. I was terrified!

As soon as I got her calm I was on a mama bear warpath and got out my phone. It was a blessing who answered the phone that time. It was our regular RN, Melissa, and she listened as I told her that it was getting steadily worse, that it was so bad she had gotten choked and turned red. I told her there was no way that was normal and I needed something to be done about it. We needed help! She told me that they would get us in that day because Isla needed to be looked over. We made our appointment and within 3 hours we were sitting in the exam room with the Physician's Assistant.

The PA was wonderful. By the time we got called back and done with Isla's vitals it was time for her to eat. However, I waited to feed her because the PA came into the room. I thought she would need to look into Isla's mouth and throat to check for reflux. Silly me. Isla started her hungry crying and the PA asked if it was time for her to eat, and it was so she said go on ahead and feed her that it didn't make a difference.

I started feeding Isla her bottle and poor baby started up fast, crying and moving around so much. The PA asked if she'd been doing that a lot and I said, "Yes!" She told me that Isla was arching her back as the acid came back up and it was in fact hurting her. I told her that at one point I thought that movement was bad but then others convinced me it was just her fidgeting. I just spilled out everything at that point. I told her about how I thought she was hurting and that it wasn't right, and that I felt like I was crazy because everyone else around us thought it was normal. I told her I was exhausted because I was scared to go to sleep in case Isla needed me and I couldn't get to her in time. The PA told me that I wasn't crazy, that I was right and that we needed to get her on medicine. We started her on Axid that night.

The Axid did nothing, so within a week I called them and asked about it, and they upped her dosage. Still nothing, still hurting and still spitting up incredibly foul smelling and bright yellow stuff. By then her 2 month appointment was after the weekend so we were going to ask for a different medicine at that time. The PA saw us again and asked how it was going, so we told her that it wasn't getting better. Isla had started refusing to finish bottles or even to eat at times!!

We decided to put her on Prilosec and we're are praying that it works. She hasn't been on it quite 2 weeks yet, but she has had a few good days. She is finishing more bottles but is still doing a lot of screaming and crying while eating. Prilosec is a Proton Pump Inhibitor so it could take up to 2 weeks to really begin to work. If this doesn't work I don't know what the next step to take will be for us. I've heard great things about BioGaia so we'll be giving her that too.

It's rough seeing someone you love so much in pain like that and having no control over it, but I'm grateful that we have had our Lord's protection in it all.

Isla Rose

Isla Rose was born on January 11, 2012 at 4:49pm. She weighed 7.6 and was 20 1/4 inches long! She was due January 5th, but she just wasn't having that, because like any girl she took awhile to get ready. My doctor set up an induction date so we had a plan.  I remember the moment she said, "How about the 11th?" The 11th was the one day that I didn't really want because that was my daddy's birthday and I thought that would be hard. I felt a big peace come over me, and tons of excitement, so Toby and I decided that sounded good. We left the office and I started freaking out from nerves because it was so final. My body had about a week to get in gear, and we hoped once my mom got into San Antonio it would. Mom came and a few days went by and nothing! The night before my induction I had some stronger contractions but nothing to go to the hospital over.

We went in to the hospital for my induction at 4 am! I think I got about an hour of sleep that night from all my excitement and nerves. It took 3 ivs, 2 different nurses to get ONE in right and me almost passing out before they got my Pitocin started! I was already having contractions and was about 3 cm when they checked me the first time. My mom and Toby kept me company til 8 when Dr. Atkerson came in to break my water. After that my body just took off. We had a few family members come to visit but I was so sick I asked that I could have some privacy. I had the sweetest nurse DeeDee and another nurse came in to help, took one look at me and told me it was ok if I needed the epidural. She also said the anesthesiologist was crazy busy and had 3 women on the list already ahead of me, so if I needed it to get on the list in case I started progressing faster.

My contractions got so bad I started getting really sick and hyperventilating so they gave me Zofran and got me on the list for an Epidural. The anesthesiologist came in and Toby actually stayed in the room while I got my first epi, notice I said first!! My legs got slightly numb but I still felt a lot and then it started to just feel normal, and I was miserable. I went from an 8 to about a 15 in about 30 minutes. Labor is no joke. I had the sweetest nurse so I told her about it and she called him back in to give me another one. After the second one I felt goooooooood! ;) I could finally relax enough to breathe and get a little rest.

DeeDee let me rest awhile since I was at 7 cm. Came back in a little while later and I was complete, and ready to push! Started pushing around 1 or 2 pm, and I was so ready. I remember the moment the nurse told us, "I see hair!!" Dr. Atkerson was stuck in an operating room, so they had me take a break from pushing, which sucked! I finally asked the nurse if I could just push every now and then, and she said go right ahead not much longer. About 20 minutes later Dr. Atkerson came in on her scooter (she had surgery back in December) and we got to business. I took a few good pushes, and at the same time I heard the sweetest little cry, and

It's a GIRL!!!!